when to say no - preface
In 2023, I ended my engagement to my fiance. While healing from that experience, I started writing. I quickly was spending hours writing, processing, and healing each day with my computer. I realized that I had written somewhat of a book. I always wanted to publish my story but wasn’t sure how or when that would happened. Over the past year and a half I prayed to God asking for the right time and opportunity. When I decided to make my website, I realized that this was the perfect space, a gift from God.
This story will be released in multiple parts over the next few months.
I am not vulnerable by nature. So to say the least, it is nerve-racking to let someone read the darkest and hardest part of my life. I also am not someone who has been blessed with the gift of writing. I wrote, deleted, wrote some more, and then deleted again. I almost kept this story in my Google Drive to stay and hide from others’ eyes forever. As time passed, I realized that my story has the ability to help another woman walking though this pain. Not because of me or my own abilities, but because we have such a kind and loving Father. To keep my story hidden would prohibit the name of Jesus being spread.
When writing, my theme verse was Philippians 1:12 “Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually advanced the gospel…”. Not to compare my experience to Paul’s imprisonment, but I came from that same heart posture. I prayed that God had me walk through that darkness to help someone else come to know Jesus, similar to how Paul used his imprisonment to spread the gospel. I want this to advance the gospel. I want you to see nothing of me and only of him, our loving Father.
Please read my story with grace and kindness. This was painful to write, and scary to release. To make it clear once more, my intent is to help other women heal, forgive, and come to know Jesus. It has and will never be to put others down. In reality, we are all sinners saved by the blood of Jesus on the cross.